Drama... drama seems to consume every second of my life. From the day I was "born" to the day that I jumped. It's been 2 years since then but still I think about it. I can't help it, I wasn't here those two years. I was in hell. Why had I gone to hell? Simple I am a sinner, I never truly accepted God so there I was. I don't remember anything really, it's all fuzzy and it makes me nauseous to think about it. I've been back for a few weeks now and it seems like everything has passed in a blur. Minutes fade into hours, which flow into days, whichs melts into weeks. I have hardly left the house, except when I went and visited Tara. I gave her sanity back to her. I gave it to her. I don't know how or why. I just touched her, and there was light, and there was Tara. I have power now and I don't understand it. Never had any power before, but I came back and there it is. I've talked to Giles on the phone, he's told me not to do anything with it, forget I have it, stay away from it until he see's me. He's going to be coming down to check on me and Tara before he tells Willow. I imagine she's going to be hurt because we all knew before her.
As I lay here on my bed I stare up at the celing and smile softly. That stain looks like a dog's head. I wonder how many times Buffy laid here and looked at the shapes up there. This is her old room after all. Mom and Buffy have been so...careful with me. Always cooking my favorite foods, buying me stuff, coming in 20 thousand times a day to see how I'm doing. It's like I'm a fucking china doll, like I'm going to break if someone blows on me. Sometimes I just want to beat their heads against the wall until they pass out... Whoa, there it goes again. I don't know why but I get these most hateful urges at times. It feel so evil at times and it...scares me. Hearing a knock on my door I jerk my head up and sigh. "Come in." I yell slightly and pulled the blanket up around me. Who would it be this time?
(Tag either Joyce or Buffy, whoever wants to come in.)